{"id":5448,"date":"2022-01-04T01:16:50","date_gmt":"2022-01-04T01:16:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/brucewinter.net\/photos\/?p=5448"},"modified":"2022-01-12T15:18:25","modified_gmt":"2022-01-12T15:18:25","slug":"helen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/brucewinter.net\/photos\/helen\/","title":{"rendered":"Helen"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Helen died Monday morning, 01\/03\/2022, at home, age 60, far too young.  She had metastatic liver cancer, was hospitalized for GI bleeds in May and August, and had been mostly in bed at home for the past 6 months, with hospice checkups for the last 8 weeks. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

She preferred to be very private on her health issues.  Apologies to everyone for not communicating her status better, especially these last few months.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Helen and her parents, Boris<\/a> and Irina<\/a>, left Soviet Moscow as Jewish refugees in 1977,\u00a0immigrating\u00a0to NY when she was 16.\u00a0 \u00a0Later they moved to Boston and then NH where she raised Aya.\u00a0 \u00a0She never did finish high school, but got BS, MS (Chemistry), PhD (EE), and Dr degrees (Neurology with a epilepsy subspecialty) from Boston, Princeton, Dartmouth and Mayo, where I found her.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I struggle to find words to describe Helen.  She was caring, curious, beautiful, playful, opinionated, brilliant, humble, willful, creative, multi-lingual (6 languages!), messy, funny.    And loved. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Aya has a much better remembrance:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Mom had the biggest heart in the world – she put everyone before herself. I always looked up to her for her intelligence, natural spirit, and humor. She dedicated her life to medicine and never got the appreciation she deserved. She bent herself backwards for her patients. I felt her love so hard and I loved her right back. She was my number one, she was the closest person I had and she was enough. I just wish she loved herself more. Mom drove me crazy with all her opinions, but as I got older I thought they were hilarious. I miss her weird outfits, her sweet talking voice, her awkward singing voice and her smile. I miss going places with her and seeing her eyes when she eats something tasty. Or when she makes fun of some fancy lady in Russian. Or when she almost always added penises to stuffed animals. I only wish I had more time with her. Mom was good at so many things, she could have been an amazing architect, professor or a lawyer. She loved to argue her point with passion and humor. She loved cooking the weirdest food. Also how she took restaurant menus and marked them up for her future recipes. She loved starting dramas online because she enjoyed the conflict and she had a fascination with trump, not because she agreed with his values, but because he looked like a Russian clown. She also took incredibly complex notes that only she could read and would add pictures of mystical characters around her scribbles. She was a top scorer in the MCATS and was passionate about mentoring medical school candidates and was a huge spokesperson for the diversification of medicine. She loved animals, wanted a horse and a parrot, and sphinx – but knew that poor bruce would end up having to manage all of them because she believed in letting animals roam free. She loved feeding her fish and fermenting foods, she had a passion for reading books, biking, hiking, swimming, and she was secretly an amazing skier. In these last years she grew a love for expensive and lavish designer Jewelry and bags, she felt that there is no reason to deprive oneself of luxury- she said once to me in Russian – “living is about the now, be fancy and be proud. She had so much empathy for everyone around her, she forgot to love herself the way she deserved. She believed in me more than I ever believed in myself. She was a fearless powerhouse of a woman. If you are reading this I know she did something for you too. It was her way. I would never ever in life replace my mom with anyone else\u2019s mom, she was my also my friend. She was always the first person I would call with good news or bad news. I hope people know how lucky they are to have met her. She will always be in my heart.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I cherish the wonderful 16 years we shared.  Many adventures as we moved from MN to NY, NH, UT, and AL.   She was photo shy, but I collected a few that I got her approval to share<\/a>. Here are a couple of them:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div>
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>
\"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div><\/div>
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>
\"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div>
\"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div><\/div>
\"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div>
\"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div><\/div>
\"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div>
\"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div><\/div>
\"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div>
\"\"<\/a><\/figure>
\"\"<\/a><\/figure><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

She did not want a funeral.  Her ashes will join Irina<\/a> and Boris<\/a> at a special place in our backyard paradise. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I am sad and drained but will be ok.  No need to do or send anything on our behalf, feel free to remember Helen however you wish. 
 
If you would like to share remembrances, you can post to comment section at the bottom of this page.
   
If you want to send something privately, you can email me at brucewinter@gmail.com .
 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Love to all,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Bruce & Aya<\/p>\n\n\n\n

———–<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A couple additions. I was looking for a short video clip that had Helen in it, so we could remember her unique and wonderful voice. I couldn’t find any with her in the video as well, but I did find one of her narrating me cutting down a tree. I extracted the audio here. <\/p>\n\n\n\n