We buried Helen’s ashes in a beautiful spot next to our creek waterfall, along with Irina and Boris. Aya made that blue figurine when she was in grade school … Helen loved it:
Bantik quickly took up a guard position:
Eric sang, he has a wonderful voice:
We got lots of wonderful comments on Helen’s remembrance page, thanks to all who contributed. Helen touched a lot of people with her Russian LiveJournal blog. A good friend setup a page there which got another 100+ comments. They are in Russian, but google auto translate does a pretty good job rendering them into English:
Helen – Bruce Photos (brucewinter.net)
She preferred to be very private – “Helomskia Vidomosti” — LiveJournal
Helen and I had a New Year’s Day tradition of carving our initials into one of our trees. This year, a Chinese parasol tree that has interesting green veins in the bark:
I read about the health benefits of Natto, a somewhat sticky-gross fermented soybeans. After failing to find a good source of it (Japan loves it, but it is not really part of the American cuisine), I started making my own, I really like the taste!
Every 20 years or so, I try rocking a beard and conclude it doesn’t really work with me. Mustache is even worse:
Closing with some doggy fun:
Bruce
I am also missing Helen. She will always be in my heart ❤
Thank you, Bruce.
I actually think the beard looks good! Love the puppy pics especially the ears! Hugs from Colorado!
Thank you, Bruce. Hugs.
Bruce, this is so touching…
Thank you! Be well.
Michael and Luba.
שלושים
In the real world on this day, thirty days after the death, the family and friends assemble near a freshly mounted tombstone, remember the deceased and pray for her/his soul. Helen does not have a tombstone in the traditional Jewish sense. There is a charming corner where her earthly remnants lay next to her beloved parents. But it makes it easier for those who knew her to join the ceremony, literally, by a double click.
Some time before her demise Helen stopped to show up in the “communities” where virtual friends were waiting for her, but Bruce wrote that our messages, prayers, wishes were all handed down. But thirty days ago even this weak and one-way line was cut. What remains is the memories and the soul print that she left everywhere in her virtual universe.
Several times I tried to sum up in writing what she was for those who never met her face to face and even chatted using letters, not voice. All was in vain, the text either slipped into platitudes or into grandiloquent superlatives, both completely alien to Helen. There turned out no better choice than to resort to the traditional formulations sanded by centuries’ use. The abbreviation תַּנְצְבָ”ה stands for the phrase “May her soul be bound in the bundle of life” going back to Samuel I, 25:29, traditionally engraved on the Jewish tombstones. Concerning Helen, this is the wish that already had been implemented: she already became an indelible link in the chain of our lives.
Bruce, Aya, all those who were fortunate to have Helen in your life: gathering around the funny figurines decorating the place where her ashes are buried, know that multitudes stay at this moment as invisible shadows next to you in silent mourning.
Bruce and Aya, thank you for publishing these notes about Helen, she’s very missed for all us, her friends, some of them knowing her only through the internet.
As I see in the russian Livejournal discussions, the short writings of Helen should not be lost. Some of her closer friends say that she wanted to prepare part of her pieces to be public. I think it may be a good memory of her if you, may be with a help of her friends, will edit and publish those peices, which she didn’t manage to prepare.
Thank you,
Sasha,
I have the data from all of Helen’s various computers (there were 5+ of them over the last 10 years!) all backed up, but the files are not organized, and they are mostly work-related files. Most of her creative writing was 5+ years ago, the more recent writing was online only Livejournal posts. I have yet to find a good way to filter out any non-work writing files.
One story she wrote in Russian. Once she returned to skiing after trauma. It happened that she could do only right turn. But she did not accept that she cod not downhill. After few tens of turns she found herself deep in the forest . Her friends found her by the ski line . All finished well . And nobody knows that she had a problem with turn …
Thank you, Bruce. Today is 40 days since Helen had left us, and she came to me in my dream last night. She was wearing a yellow robe (?). We were having a lively discussion about some gender-related matters.
Hello.
Myself and my husband, Michele and Ralph, knew Helen and Bruce through Helen’s parents Irina and Boris. Irina was my mentor in homeopathy and then became my friend. We had hours of discussions and her kind and thorough manner in which she led me was remarkable. It is through her that I met Helen and Bruce. I still remember the almost last thing Helen said to me. Helen and Irina and I were going to a beautiful park in Birmingham, this was about a month before Irina died. Helen and I chatted about Irina and her challenges living alone. We talked about the beautiful plants and displays in the garden. As we were leaving Helen turned to me and said to me “You are well loved”. It has taken me a very long time to understand the gift in that. Irina was important to me. i walked away having a different understanding of our relationship. I have come to understand that as people may not say the words, but it does not mean they do not feel the feelings. For me now, anytime I think of Irina, I think of Helen and her words that day. Thank you Helen.
Thanks for the remembrance, Michele. It struck a chord with me. The best thing I remember about Helen is how deeply she loved me, as I did her. It is an irreplaceable gift.